


Mind Maladies

by ultimmaGothicca



Series: Mind Maladies [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Asylum, Atheism, Escape, Incomplete, Mental Illness, Other, Religious Undertones, Yaoi, not really that brutal but it was supposed to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:04:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4457657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimmaGothicca/pseuds/ultimmaGothicca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How sick in the mind are you to be considered ill and how sane should you be to be considered normal?</p><p>In a place where insanity is a default, can Ciel survive? </p><p>*note -this story was discontinued because the co author became too busy*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mind Maladies

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a collaborate between me and _____ from fanfiction.net. it was supposed to be dirty but ______ has moved on to better things in life and I don't think I can finish this alone. Still posting it here for reactions. 
> 
>  
> 
> I know the Asylum themed fanfiction under Kuroshitsuji fandom is already taken by Cennis first, but no, I didn't copy the theme from her. This was actually a fruit of binge watching American Horror Story Asylum. 
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji belongs to Yana Toboso, plot is similar to American Horror Story.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

「~*~*~*~*~」

 

It was really simple... 

 

Billions of years ago, the milky way galaxy was formed. 

 

A collision of inanimate stars, then the 9 planets were formed. 

 

Earth happens to be in a right place, made of the right substance at the right time. 

 

Evolution made way for simple celled creatures to be developed in an elaborate fashion, ranging from intricate fishes that swims, birds that fly, and humans that roam the earth.

 

Humans who thinks they are special creatures, built with a cosmic purpose by a complicated god just because they made up a set of rules called 'morality'.

 

Simple ideas such as that cannot be accepted by the arrogant society. After all, religion was made as an excuse to bind people down, a way to be prejudiced towards certain groups who doesn't fit the bill of perfection for their 'omniscient' god. 

 

I should know. I was held back for a long time. Stifled, can't breathe, each of my realistic approach was dismissed as a delusion. 

It is disgusting. It's becoming like an infectious disease and the carriers are not quarantined.

 

At the very least, it was used against me by my guardian. That part is what ticked me off the most. 

 

"Please take care of my Ciel. He is a little delicate..."

 

Hypocrite. I knew what her plan was a long time ago. She wanted the title, the wealth and the honor left to me by my parents. She wanted revenge for being impregnated by my father, for being forced to have an abortion, and for being tossed aside in favor of my naive, innocent mother. 

 

This face that I inherited from him, the great Vincent Phantomhive, was what she hated the most. 

 

I look at the simple office of Trinity Asylum for the Mentally Disturbed, with a forceful glare that these wide blue eyes can muster. A closet shut to the public eye, a simple oak table engraved with a design of carnations blooming, a leather couch which Aunt Angelina and myself currently occupy, and a rotating swivel chair which this tall stranger comfortably sat. 

"Such disbelief against God Almighty is rather-" crimson orbs scanned my body from head to toe, gloved hands reaching to tuck a lock of midnight black hair behind his ear. "- unacceptable, don't you think? God has always been a basis for morality, despite the fact that God's identity itself is a dispute. But the firm resolve that God itself is nonexistent might lead to despicable habits."

 

"Indeed! As you say, Doctor Michaelis!" The traitorous redhead that was my aunt clasped both her hands and sighed. "I know how Trinity Asylum is a place where his mind, as well as his body and soul is cared for. I have heard good things about Dr. Faustus and Father Landers too. Such a charitable institution caring for the mentally ill for free is indeed worthy of recognition!"

 

"You flatter me so much. We are just doing what we can for the society. Besides, this place just opened 6 months ago. We have no real achievement yet."

 

Both of them droned on and on, exchanging worthless banter as I look around for escape route. Nothing. Even the windows were sealed with thick metal bars. The walls adorned with plain maroon wallpaper looked thick and soundproof. Plain, but it looks as though it was a place invested with lots of money. 

 

Pretty suspicious for a nonprofit organization. 

 

It was said that in this infamous place, no one comes out alive. Perhaps, it might be for the reason that all patients are just trash dumped by relatives who wanted no obligation, or hardened criminals with good acting skills to escape death by lethal injection. 

 

On our way here, I only saw a few elderly patients prancing around with spaced out look in their eyes, a blonde woman in a scrub suit writing something in her clipboard, and a tall albino wearing a priest's robe. It was nothing special, the place more sanitary compared to others I bet. But it was sealed in and out. 

 

It was as if it's hiding something. 

 

"Well, I'm leaving Ciel in your capable hands. Please nurture him back into Jesus's hands."

 

She stood up, waved a last goodbye (her eyes tell me she's going to make sure I'll never come out of this place), and the heavy door was shut. 

 

Dr. Michaelis sighed, the long body stretched lazily before raising both of his shoe-covered feet to his desk. Hands reached out and unbuttoned his collared long sleeves in black, exposing bare chest filled with tiny scars. I jumped, my floating thoughts was forgotten in favor of staying alert. 

 

"Such a bitch, don't you think? Leaving you here with a couple of real lunatics just because she thinks she can. You are a very unlucky child."

 

I do not answer. There's no use satisfying him with a reaction. Unlucky? Probably. Not dumb though. 

 

This place, with all its huge bolts, barred windows and soundproof rooms. I can escape it. It's no big deal. I'm smart enough to deduce god doesn't exist, smart enough to stay at top of my class and will be smart enough to retain my sanity inside this goddamned institution. 

 

The raven-haired man shifted in his seat, those blood red pupils dilating slightly as his thin lips smirked. I quit all my pondering in favor of observing this Dr. Michaelis. The thump in my chest isn't backing out, as if my heart wants to jump out. Nervous I might be, I keep up with my poker face expression. The black leather couch creaks noisily as I try to stop myself from fidgeting. 

 

Dr. Michaelis, in all his handsome glory, has slight imperfections that guaranteed his humanity. Pale, sickly skin rivaling my own, with tiny barely visible freckles peppering his Roman nose. Crows feet are starting to show at the edges of his eyes, despite the eerie color it owns. A few pierce marks littered his earlobes, possibly a delinquent in his youth. Chuckling at my intent gaze at his person, he spoke. 

 

"Your aunt brought you here because of your atheistic views, I should say. Good news is that I don't actually believe in god, so that means there's nothing wrong with you in that aspect. Bad news is that, I see your eyes tend to wander and space out, as if you can't focus. Is it hallucinations? Schizophrenia? Who knows? That might be a problem."

 

I snarled, my hands swiped the papers neatly compiled on top of his desk. A swift motion, I grabbed the collar of his shirt, my anger taking over the slightest doubt in me. 

 

"You... How dare you insinuate I am not in my right mind?! A person with an IQ of 160? The top student of St Mary of Carmel University?! Who do you think you are?"

 

His lips twitched, and I can feel him gulp, perhaps intimidated by me?

 

All of the sudden, I was slammed headfirst to the hard desk. My neck cracked violently, and warm liquid (was it blood?) gushed from my stinging forehead. He grabbed a fistful of my navy blue locks, and the rush of adrenaline in my veins was unexplainable as I met him eye to eye again. 

 

"You little piece of shit. I should have you lock in a room full of mirrors so you can see that crazed look in your cute little eyes. Not insane? As a psychologist, that is pretty hard to believe."

 

He spat on my face with a disgusted expression, and blunt nails dig diligently at my scalp. I squirm to get the abusive hand off me, but the 6 feet tall of a monster wouldn't budge. I wipe his saliva off my face, my eyes burning at the edges but the tears remained unshed.

 

"Physical abuse, doctor Michaelis? We are in the 20th century, not Middle Ages. From the looks of it, you are crazier than most patients here. Playing doctor..."

 

This demon rolled his eyes, raised me up before tossing me to the floor like a toy. I fell butt first, the carpet was useless and did nothing to break my fall. It hurts a bit, and I scramble back to my feet to regain a little bit of dignity. 

 

"Perhaps I am, perhaps I'm not. Either way, patient 0148, you are in my domain. I suggest you feel just a little bit threatened. We wouldn't want an electroshock therapy to commemorate your first day, right?"

 

"You despicable-!"

 

"Doctor Michaelis, there is someone waiting for you- did I come at a bad time?"

 

My retort was interrupted by the blonde I saw earlier. She stood at the now opened door with her clipboard on her side, lips pursing as she looked at us with wide green eyes. Doctor Michaelis returned to his chair in all his arrogant persona, hands reached out to grab a few forgotten papers crumpled on the floor.

 

"Send him in, Nurse Elizabeth. And bring patient 0148 to the Red ward. Maybe he will be acquainted with one of his kind there."

 

The woman straightened her posture and walked towards me with an even pace. I would prefer a moron's company over that imbecile any day, so I followed Elizabeth without much fuss. As I glance once again to the smirking psychologist, I breathed hard to keep my temper in check as I noticed his mouth moving, as if he is taunting me. I returned the favor with a flip of my middle finger, my head held high as I march with the blonde nurse towards the Red ward. 

 

??~*~*~*~*~??

My first impression of the Trinity Asylum for the Mentally Disturbed was it was a rather decent place, with a clean environment and few patients. 

 

The Red Ward was different. 

 

It was filled with drooling lunatics around my age, some bound to the wall with cloths and shackles. I watched with wide blue eyes as a blue eyed male with fair locks danced around the room like a deranged ballerina, knocking over the clawed dirty couches and ripped beanie bags. He stopped in front of Elizabeth and myself, the face changed from crazy to innocent in a matter of seconds. 

 

"Move away, 0148."

 

The nurse dragged my hand, and I inadvertently dodged a tackle from the other blonde. He smashed face first on the carpeted floor with an ungraceful thump, before picking himself up like it didn't hurt. 

 

"C'mon Lizzie! Let me play with the new cutie!"

 

"No, patient 0139. You will molest him to the point of being traumatized."

 

"Bleh! What's with the number? My name is Alois Trancy!"

 

'Lizzie' shook her head before dragging me yet again to a beanie chair at the farthest corner of the room, away from the Alois and the others. She sported a look of utter seriousness that doesn't seem to suit her rather cute appearance. I sat silently, and looked at her attentively as she rummages through her pockets, all while looking around like a suspicious criminal. 

 

In her hands, she offered a small Rubix cube, a pad paper with yellowed pages and a pen. She shoved it to my lap before kneeling to my eye level, like an adult does to a child. 

 

"Listen. I know you're not insane, but the Red Ward is one of the most taxing places here. Keep your sanity intact, and please hide those items from the patients and other staff. That's all the help I can offer now."

 

With that, she fixed my collar and patted my head before announcing in a louder voice:

 

"I'll bring you your hospital gown and pajamas tonight, okay? Just stay there and be good, patient 0148."

 

I watched the nurse mouth a 'wait for me' before walking away, leaving me all alone with just the mentally ill as my company. The items she gave me was tucked discreetly beneath the beanie bag I was sitting on, and I'm determined to keep them with me until I get out of this hell hole. 

 

The crazy blonde smiled towards my direction, eyes winking in a lascivious way that sent shivers down my spine. I keep my eyes trained to him, despite the fact that he disgusts me. In this place, where the shackled patients tossed and turned, pathetic whines and meaningless mumbles that resembled no amount of sanity, I gazed at the lone patient who at the very least knows his own name. I tuned out the loud shouts of profanity, a blind eye as a male nurse slapped a split lipped girl patient demanding for 'watah'* across the face, and my sense of justice was ignored in favor of keeping all my wits with me. 

 

Death will seem like the only option, a chance to be freed from this hell and be sent to heaven by a loving father in the sky. A promising afterlife. 

 

Except that the only life I will ever live is today and I must value it to the extent of my power. 

 

I closed my tired eyes with an audible sigh. I am not lonely, I am not sorry, I am not scared. 

 

I can only feel immense hatred to Angelina, and to the devil Dr. Michaelis for punishing me without even a crime to accuse me. 

 

??~*~*~*~*~??

A wooden bunk bed, windowless walls, a bucket to fulfill nature's urges and a bolted door guaranteed to keep me there. 

 

I pulled out the notebook Elizabeth gave me and proceeded to write small patterned dots. I wrote in Braille all my lingering thoughts, the date May 6th 1944, and a few escape plans that my distracted mind can muster. Despite the room's dim state, I can read the letters by feeling its pattern like a blind man. 

 

I've yet to meet the other staff, and I can only hope they will be less taxing and smarter than Dr. Michaelis to deduce that I am not insane. I'm simply a nonbeliever. America, land of the free but still enslaved the minority with their social ideals. My own opinion is not respected. The only good thing I can be optimistic about is that no one attempted an exorcism of any kind- unless 'Father Landers' fancies to strip off what little faith in the system that I have. 

 

I hear footsteps approaching my direction. With a swift move, I tucked the notebook in my underwear and lie on my back at the hard bed. True to what I expected, the door swung open with a barely audible creak. My hands held the pen with a determined grip, willing to kill to keep myself alive. 

 

"Phantomhive? Cierru~"

 

That voice, high pitched but decidedly male. It's the crazy 'Alois'!

 

I sprung off my bed, pen raised in the air threateningly. The blonde seemed shock and moved a few steps backwards, hands in the air with a surrendering gesture. 

 

"Easy boy! I thought you're not crazy?! Put the pen Lizzie gave you and calm the fucking down."

 

This Alois... he is different from what I have seen of him. His eyes, even with inadequate lighting, shone normally, not the faux innocence nor the deranged look I've seen earlier. He wore a pink hospital gown, fingers swinging a tiny key that unlocks my room. 

 

"Good, you've calmed down. Gave me a scare, jeez."

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

The stranger flipped his hair arrogantly, lips tightly pouting as he said:

 

"It's time for your orientation. You're not crazy right? Believe it or not, so am I. If you want to continue on keeping your brains with you, better follow me."

 

I glared, but I slowly loosened my grip on the pen. "Why should I trust you?"

 

Alois winked playfully, and he fumbled his hands under his clothing. He produced a pen identical to what Lizzie gave me, a translucent thing slightly longer than an average person's thumb. 

 

"Everyone who isn't supposed to be here is given this. Lizzie calls it the 'save your brain' package. Now are you going or what?"

 

That doesn't leave me any choice, does it?

??~*~*~*~*~??

 

True to his word, Elizabeth was there, along with a few other people in hospital gowns and two employees of Trinity Asylum. We gathered at a different block, called Black Ward. It is a lot better than the Red Ward, with cushioned walls and barred windows, letting in a bit of moonlight. I sat beside a tanned male around my age, Alois on my other side, and between our makeshift circle, Elizabeth sat in the middle. 

 

"Good evening, guys." She offered a fond but tired smile. "We have a new person to welcome, please treat him kindly. His name is Ciel Phantomhive, patient 0148, and he was sent here because of his stand as an atheist."

 

The other patients offered a court hi and a slight bow, their actions distinctively different from the bound patients of Red Ward. 

 

"Please introduce yourselves, as well as the reason why you were sent here." The other staff, a black haired Asian with sharp brown eyes said. 

 

"My name is Soma!" The man beside me smiled. "I am an immigrant, and I was sent here when a neighbor stole my family's heirloom which I brought here. To keep me here and prevent justice, they claimed I was hallucinating as a prince."

 

The albino beside him nodded and took his turn. "Name's Pluto. I was kept here because I've witnessed a crime committed by my uncle, but the blame was put on me. To prevent being killed with the electric chair I had to admit the crime and pretend insanity."

 

A redhead took his turn, long hair swishing before he grinned, exposing sharp incisors. "My name is Grell! Sadly, I was placed here because I preferred men over women. My half brother found out and I was a goner. Thankfully, Dr. Sebby keeps my days nice and bright and- ouch!"

 

"Must you be so obnoxious?" the woman with boobs barely fitting in her hospital gown and burgundy hair hit the redhead squarely on the shoulder, her wide, alert eyes glaring at the feminine man. "Maylene. I killed my stepfather who tried to rape my younger brother. The damned lawyer messed up and this is the best place I can end up with."

 

"I'm Finny!" Another overly friendly blonde squealed like a pig, just like a kindergartner happy to have another classmate. "I was placed here when Mom decided I was a bother when she remarried. She claimed I was a schizophrenic. I don't even know what that means, but I guess it's a bad thing? For the most part, Dr. Faustus ignores me, so I guess it's all good!"

 

It was now Alois's turn. He coughed exaggeratedly like a speaker giving a speech before talking:

 

"My name is Alois Trancy. I was originally placed at the Green Ward to cure my homosexuality, but Dr. Michaelis caught me trying to escape, so I was diagnosed with nymphomania. Now I'm your block mate at the Red Ward."

 

His eyes glint with hatred, the icy blue so light compared to my darker ones looked so inhuman. Perhaps, it's more of the insult he received, being diagnosed with such an embarrassing mental instability, rather than being held down at this damned place that made him hate the diabolical doctor so much. 

 

One of the staff, a man with dull orange hair and deadpan purple eyes bowed politely in my direction. Apparently, it was his turn to introduce himself. 

 

"My name is Drocell Cainz. I work under Father Landers. This man beside me is Isaiah Holmes. He works as the security agent."

 

"I'm only doing this for Lizzie." The brown eyed man from a few minutes ago declared arrogantly. I looked at him skeptically, his lithe figure made me wonder how he managed to land a job among the other burly guards. 

 

"I'm Elizabeth, but you call me Lizzie if you want to talk to me or ask a question in private. It is a code for all of us." Elizabeth smiled kindly, tilting her head to the side. On outside appearances, she looks trustworthy. However, there is still one question left unanswered. 

 

"Why are you doing this? Are you not working under Trinity Asylum's management?"

 

��~*~*~*~*~��

 

It makes me wonder, is Elizabeth insane? 

_  
"I can't take it. Using such a noble cause as an excuse to earn profit."_

__  
Risking her life in a gamble, working in the shadows, blindly trusting every person she deemed fit to tell the story.  
__

_"It will be a stupid thing to just come out of the media without back up. All I can do is try to gather everyone who can qualify as a witness..."_

__  
What if one of us betray her?

_  
"Father Landers is an influential man, not to mention he has a good reputation as a priest among the believers..."_

__  
I look up to the pitch black ceiling, hands gasping the humid air. First night and I am missing the warm bed, the moonlight seeping through thin curtains...  
__

_"Doctor Faustus, even with a blank past, is a great physician tied with a lot of charitable organizations. Even if half of the patients in the Black Ward disappeared under his care, no one seems to notice. After all, most of them are random patients that were rendered incurable, without families looking for them..."  
_

The scent of lavender, I longed for it. This place smells like disinfectant at its best, sweat and bodily fluids at its worst... 

_  
"Doctor Michaelis, a psychologist, he's the least known between the three of them. But for all his lack of achievements, he is the director of Trinity Asylum. Dare I say, it's odd. I hate him the most. As a student of Psychology myself, I can say almost all his patients are misdiagnosed at first. But by dumb luck, they turn into exactly what he declared after a few months. Must be because of the horse tranquilizers and unidentified pills he made them take. Bear in mind that you must not drink any of it. Water should be clear. Food must be plain white bread..."_

__  
Tears welled at the edges of my eyes, but they were held back. Missing my mother's warmth is pointless self pity. I'm on my own now.  
__

_"At the Green Ward, most patients can go out to the garden. They are not given any kind of pills or medication. They are mostly the bad cases at first day. No sign of improvement, but they don't worsen unlike the people under the other wards. Father Landers oversees it..."  
_

If heaven exists, are my parents there as well? My father hasn't been the kindest human when he was alive, prowling in the underworld, playing mind games to turn the wind to his favor... But in my 15 years of living, he showed me that I was loved. 

__  
"Red Ward is for the more unruly patients. It has the most number of people, under Dr. Michaelis's management."  


My mom was neither evil nor good. She was simply oblivious. Too ignorant to the ways of the world. Aunt Angelina calls it stupidity, but I guessed she just loves Father to care what kind of a person he is. She knows what he did to auntie, but she thinks it has nothing to do with us. Maybe blind in love?  
__

_"Black Ward is the worst. It is under the operation of Dr. Faustus. Most patients are either a lost cause, or too sane to be seen by the public. For some reason, the most unruly of them get infected with some disease, requiring a trip to Dr. Faustus's office. They are never to be seen again. Until Alois came..."_

_They were imperfect humans. My parents that is. But I love them, I miss them, and I will continue to fight for the life they generously bestowed upon me._

__  
"For your own safety, please pretend to be at least vaguely insane. Not too much, nor to little. Just the right amount of crazy to keep you alive. A number of patients is to be sustained to keep the donations coming. We can only hope the number is just right, not exceed. Or else..."_ _

_After all, my life is the only thing I have now._

__  
"You might not come out alive"_._

_Wait until I have the chance, I'll find away to get you out of this hell."  
/i/_

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to finish this but I might need to brush off my writing skills (if I had one). 
> 
> Not medically or historically accurate. Won't be bothered with research because lazy. 
> 
> If you want to help me write this then just leave a comment below. Hopefully someone as brutal as ____ or more .


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